Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Becoming Us...Attachment Part 2

Click here to read  Becoming Us...Part 1

We are so wonderfully close to being a family of five!!!  In just twelve days Ezekiel will be home and we will start the busy work of becoming us through attachment.   If you read the first part you probably realize that forming these attachments is not quick and it's not easy.  It's messy and painful and just not always pretty.  Obviously with the added challenge of adding another baby into the mix in a few more weeks it's even more important that we take this attachment business seriously both before the baby is born and after.

For the first 6-8 weeks:
~ we won't be taking any visitors.  No family.  No friends.  Trust me, this hurts us more than it hurts you.  I can't begin to express how thankful we are for each and everyone of you.  Your prayers and help to us during the last two years have been priceless.  However, we really need to hunker down and make sure that Ezekiel knows that George, myself, Christin, and Lindsey are his permanent family.  There will be no more coming and going of people.  It's just us (poor thing:)

~ Ezekiel won't be leaving our house except for doctors appointments.  Just like we want him to begin to gain a concept of family, we also want him to begin to gain a concept of home and the way our home runs:  our noises, the flow of our home, the smell of our home, our schedule etc. etc.

~ We'll be keeping the TV and computer off during Ezekiel's waking hours to avoid over stimulating him.  To avoid distractions we'll be letting our phones go to voice-mail.  The best way to get in touch with us will be through email (which we'll check while he's asleep:)

What can you do during this time?  (Not that you have to do anything just if you want to)
~ bring meals (you can sign up at this fabulous website if interested Take them a meal)
~ encourage us through email or cards!
~help shuffle the girls around to preschool, awana games practice
`hire us a cleaning  service and professional cook 

After this initial 6-8 weeks we will start gradually easing back into life.  If you're looking at a calendar you will realize that this will coincide with when we bring baby surprise home from the hospital so that will force us to spend even more time at home both in an attempt to get our family situated and so that no one sees what I look like during this transition phase.  We'll be playing it by ear and keeping you posted:)  

 For the first 12 months:
~ George and I will be the only ones to feed, diaper, dress, bath Ezekiel and put him to sleep.
~ We won't be putting Ezekiel in the nursery  or leaving him in any group babysitting settings (settings like these are very similar to the transition home setting and can trigger setbacks) 
~We won't be leaving Ezekiel overnight and will only both be leaving him for very short amounts of time (like long enough for a dinner out:)

We realize that the measures we are taking may seem drastic but at this point aren't you used to drastic from us (be honest)?!?!  We also may get a month into having Ezekiel home and say, "wow he's doing great!  We can ease up a bit." or conversely after 8 weeks we might say, "He needs more time.  Let's add another 4 weeks of seclusion"  If you're thinking right now, "Geez, they are letting this kid run the family and the house." You'd be right!

Now, if you are freaking out that you have done all this praying and will not get to meet Ezekiel for another 2 months FEAR NOT.  We are working on something so that everyone can meet him when George gets him home right before we go into seclusion.  Look for more on that later this week!

For more great advice on how to support adoptive families please read Jen Hatmaker's post How To Be the Village  it's fantastic and she's hysterical and I very much want to be her when I grow up.

Don't want to miss any exciting announcements? Sign up for my email list in the upper right hand corner of the page! And thanks for reading!


  1. So excited for this handsome little boy to come home! (can I tell you that I cried like a baby when I read this?) Ezekiel is going to be the happiest boy alive… I just know it! Cannot wait to finally see his big brown eyes, and to give you all huge hugs before you all go into seclusion! Can't say it enough: love you!!!! :')

    Miss Ashley

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